


I Understand Why You Had to Go

by Ango_Isqua



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, POV Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Has PTSD, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25368964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ango_Isqua/pseuds/Ango_Isqua
Summary: Bucky reacts to Steve leaving him, going back in time, and making Sam Captain America.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers
Kudos: 9





	I Understand Why You Had to Go

**Author's Note:**

> This is me rationalizing certain events in Endgame so I don't have to be mad.

Bucky wasn’t surprised when Steve didn’t come back. He would have stayed too, stayed in that time that was the ‘before’. Before; when he trusted his mind to be his own, when he wasn't quite so bone tired. He knew Steve felt the same. His friend was borderline suicidal, living for others instead of himself. SHIELD and the Avengers had given Steve purpose, and that kept him going, but it didn’t make him happy. Steve had always wanted to go to war, to fight bullies, and he had. He had died, done his part, saved the world, but then they brought him back. They told him to save the world again, a world he didn’t recognise, so he did, again and again. That’s all he did, just fought for people he never really got to know. He was in modern times for twelve years and as far as Bucky could tell hadn’t interacted with anyone other than the Avengers and SHIELD agents. When Steve went to war, he was fighting so everyone had a home to return to, so that everyone could go home, alive. When he woke up in the future he began fighting for the world, but he wasn’t a part of the world, not anymore. So once it was saved he went back to the home he had always wanted to return to. It killed Bucky, it hurt so fucking much, that Steve had left him behind, but he understood, and couldn’t resent his friend for it. If Steve had stayed he would have had to keep fighting, it was who he was, and SHIELD certainly wouldn’t have left him to his own devices.

When Steve showed up on the bench, mum about where he had been and what he had done, Bucky knew he had gone home. That may have been Peggy, or it may have simply been a time, place, and people he didn’t have to fight for. When Steve gave the shield and title to Sam, Bucky was grateful. If Steve had given it to him he would have taken it, and he would have become Captain America, but he didn’t want it. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He didn’t even want to go back, like Steve had done, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to find the ‘before’. He just wanted to return to Wakanda and care for his goats. SHIELD wouldn’t bother him, he wasn’t Captain America, face of patriotism, he was a liability, and they would leave him alone. Steve could visit him, they had lived about the same amount of lifetime now, two old geezers who didn’t have to fight anymore. Steve would die eventually (Bucky felt that desperate sting in his heart at that thought, and the betrayal that had caused it), but maybe by then Bucky would be part of the world again.


End file.
